Still getting there or maybe not


The in-betweeners. Those who are in between a hard place and a rock perhaps.

Today my friend and I were sitting in a park which has a huge water body. We were facing the water body and I was staring at it and wondering why do these lakes, ponds, pools etc seem more calming than ever.

Suddenly my friend screamed, “Oh shit! Everyone we know is either getting married or getting employed at big firms. And we’re stuck in between”.

And I laughed. I reminded her something later, “Look, we’re still sitting at the same place we used to sit four years ago i.e. in our undergraduate years.” That was our almost daily routine to take a stroll at this park.

One of us who is recently unemployed and has no idea what she’ll end up doing or being; in spite of being a postgraduate. Other who is CA aspirant and still has to give her finals after repeated attempts for previous levels.

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Cloud watching art by Terry Fan

After the heated discussion about how everyone is getting where they want to be and we’re still on our way, we started to make shapes out of clouds.

It was 7:30pm and the sun had left the sky. We could see the clouds floating in darkness and we could see minions(from despicable me) and various other shapes in them. It felt so relaxing and calming.

Only until my friend mentioned some other aspects about ‘real world’.

My eyes were still fixed upon the cloud we were making shapes out of and as it was disappearing I wanted to disappear with it.

Maybe life isn’t bad or something. Maybe I don’t really know what I am doing or where I am going. Having an interest in politics and studying it comes with a price. If you don’t have a background for the same and do not have the funds to carry on with life even if you don’t make money then no point in doing it.

Having dreams comes with a price and having really focused dreams comes with a permanent debt which you can only repay if you possess those assets.

Which is why I do sincerely regret even letting my heart dream about having anything to do with politics and it’s depth-ness. Because a country like ours only respects and gives opportunities to those who can afford it. Those who are poor or come from a lower background manage to get things done by sheer hard work.

On the other hand the middle-class of ‘general’ quota must probably never think of changing the world or their country. Because they are the ones who get changed by the above and below class. We’re the ones that are the variables to a country’s output and input.

And soon my layer of hope disappeared and a bigger cloud arrived in space by then. This time it looked like a massive army coming for war. It was of course just my imagination. What could the cloud be more than water turned into vapour.

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