Dear 18 year old me

Dear little one,

You’re probably one of the most angriest teens anyone has ever known. This letter is probably not a way to comfort you, but just to guide you maybe. This idea although is borrowed from your just made friend bakbakee.

I hope you are smiling enough cause you barely do that. Stop wearing those pathetic outfits, and yes eating a lot will make you fat.

It all gets better in the future, just not with the same people you are with at the moment. Cause let’s face it, you feel like you are in a never ending toxic rut in a relationship. But enjoy it for the good moments it has to offer, soon you’ll be free from it and only be left with memories. Let’s keep them good. Don’t worry the end of it is also for your own good. You’ll rather grow up to prefer the end. You’re just a bit timid at the moment. It is fine, take your time. No hurry.

You’ll meet some amazing people in your life and each and every person will teach you something. They would also show a side of yourself you never thought exists. You’ll stop lying that you’re not an emotional person. You are VERY emotional and that is beautiful. The 23 year old you can’t write this letter without tears in her eyes. You may give your parents a hard time now but they are the ones who would stand by you no matter what. At times they will also be the reason for your happiness and contentment. It is a little hard to believe that right now – isn’t it?

You’ll make great friends wherever you go. You do have some great ones right now. You will also lose some friends which is okay. You grow and your personality demands friends who get you. And yes, they will.

Your hairstyle needs to keep on changing and please use some oil. Work out – running and yoga are your only solace at the moment from all the uncertainties in life. Pimples do linger around, that is because you never give up pickles.

You think you will never sing in front of anybody but your Mom. Wait till you gain your confidence, singing will become more enjoyable. (You may also be out of tune, but that wouldn’t affect you.)

I am so glad that you read, the older you reads even more than you can imagine. You think life is about getting ‘somewhere’ or being at some exotic place and finally terming yourself ‘successful’. Drop that idea altogether. This idea is so flawed and the absolute cause of your stress. Life is actually about loving the moment you are in and never being anxious about the future. Success is about doing things correctly and being happy irrespective of what happens.

There will be days when you feel so unloved and see girls your age looking better. It is fine. Appreciate it rather than being a teenager about it. You will learn that what is inside your head matters a lot more for you than what is popping on your face.

You think you are never going to be able to give up eye liner cause you use it so often. Wait for sometime, you will not even touch that thing for two years straight. It is for the best.

Drink tons, that’s what your younger days are for. And don’t worry about your drunk stories or be embarassed. Cause that is what they will be – stories.

It is always good to cut people off. If they are damaging your mental health or self esteem – you don’t need them.

But always accept healthy criticism, otherwise you’re just a person who wants people to only praise you. You will grow so empathetic and that is the only trait I love about you, not your hair.

You will officially stop biting your nails and cut them with a nail cutter like a civil human being. That is the best news you get from the future. Your playlist and music taste will always improve.

No photography won’t stick around for too long, but I hope to take it in the future. Nobody knows you better than you do. So if someone calls you ‘predictable’ slap them on their face and ask, “didn’t see that coming, did ya?”

Life is never smooth sailing in the ‘real world’. But you’ll do fine, you grow mentally stronger and learn to speak out.

You will travel far and at times find yourself so alone in places you can’t imagine. But that is exactly where you’ll find yourself and be at one with the universe. It will help you grow with some sense of responsibility.

You will stop being repressive, something 23 year old is so happy about. Your dressing sense dwindles. You start hating jeans, it seems impossible I know, I can see you wondering, “what will I wear then, woman?”. You don’t lose your lame sense of humour, even at 23 you crack jokes that you must apologise immediately for.

You start making up theories, you would really love to listen what the adult you comes up with. The movie Bewitched will always be your favourite.

You still haven’t caught up on pop culture activities, I don’t think you ever will. You will travel. A lot. You walk down the graduation aisle seeing your parents beaming with pride. That will be remembered as the best day of your life.

You have too many questions jumping in your head right now, I haven’t found answers for all of them, but I have found answers for the important ones.

Don’t be so sad and frowny all the time, lose your guard. People will disappoint you, their behaviour will make you cringe so hard. But maybe put yourself in their shoes once in a while. Just because others act blind in action, you don’t have to be blind and judge them through and through. Understand their position and let it be.

People take advantage of you financially. Don’t worry the older you is working on making sure that stops happening.

You’ll be a free-er person than you think, and you will be glad those unsure, weird college days are finally over.

Always read and sing a lot!

Yours lovingly,

23-year old you.

3 thoughts on “Dear 18 year old me

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