I have a strained relationship with my father. I know many people fear admitting this. I never really understood why. Yes in the past it has affected my social behaviour but now I have found several ways to overcome it.
He is a nice guy, does my taxes, helps me through all the weird moments in life. When I was away in another city almost dropping into depression he made sure I got back home and reached safely and supported me through everything.
What bothers me is his anger issues. He has constant habit of screaming and expressing himself very loudly. A very eccentric human being. And at times hypocritical in nature. Initially, I could never overlook his anger issues. Some of my friends even told me how they find that to be ‘awful’. That really ached me that it wasn’t enough I had to deal with this on a daily basis. I had to put up with the negativity, I also had others coming and pointing fingers at this.
My mom although has a policy of always hearing him out. According to her retorting to the situation would only make it worse. This has shaped my thinking in a very different way. The kind of stress we both experience by putting up with his anger is inexplicable.
This post is really not a rant about my family situation. I am an idealist. Most stories I write has to have a happy ending.
My dad brought a self-help book and was trying to get us to read it for the past two months. My mom is not a reader and I don’t really believe so much in self-help books. Somewhere fiction teaches you more about life than these books that expect you to make a ‘list’ at every turn of life.
It was a 100 page book so I took it one night and decided to just finish it for I could no longer take his pester about it. The book, Eat that frog by Brian Tracy, had atleast a million ways of making lists (pardon my exaggeration).
That book had one chapter that made me laugh. Brian said how we all have a habit of procrastinating the most tedious task of our lives. We should consider that task as an ugly frog and eat it first thing in the morning. Once we do that our day would just get smoother. Cause after you get done eating a huge ugly frog – you automatically know you can go through anything.
I was impressed at the same time a little confused. Then I rushed through rest of its pages and finally reached out for my novel before I could snore away to glory.
This morning my father threw a fit about how people (me) who don’t wake up at 5am are lazy. I woke up at 9:30. Nodded his ‘idea’ of a responsible person off and went on with my morning routine.
Suddenly, I realised I had just faced my ugliest frog for the day. The frog need not be a task, in my case it can be an incident. And the most stressful incident of my day has passed. Rest of the day can now go smoothly.
It made me so happy I almost wanted to hug somebody. But my dad had left for some chores to do by then. I called my Mom and blabbered in excitement.
It is ironical how the source that caused me stress also, unknowingly, gave the solution for it. So maybe self-help books are not so bad after all.