A few days ago I made a mistake while tweeting an article out. This tweet stayed up for a good two minutes before it got taken down by my colleague. The mistake was pointed out in a mail thread and this caused some ruckus. I apologised in the thread atleast a million times (five to be precise) for the mistake in the tweet. My boss then separately mailed me asking something on the lines of, “What is going on?”
She probably began to wonder if something is personally wrong with me because of the mistake. Which means I now had to sit down and justify why I made a mistake. My head could only think of one quote, “To err is human?” I could have only replied that if I love being unemployed and dying due to starvation and poverty. I don’t. So I made up a lie about being exhausted. I really am a well rested human in general.
I still wrote an email and sent it to a colleague and asked her to see if it is okay. She, naturally, panicked and asked me to make up some more lies about having family problems. And also asked me to reduce number of sorrys.
Family problem? Do I have to wreck my home just because of a mistake I made while tweeting?
The system we work in is pretty much bizarre. It is not built for humans at all. My error was to be justified by lack of sleep or lack of happiness in my life. I just ended up lying that I was exhausted and therefore made the mistake. I later on could not sleep and turned up to work next day actually exhausted. I could not sleep cause questions like these create self doubts. Suddenly my colleagues asked me, “Are you happy with this job? If not then leave. You should always work wherever you are happy.”
I just narrowed my eyebrows tightly as I kept reading these bizarre messages. All of this because of a mistake in a tweet? Is this what we have come to? Any mistake is perceived as weakness or unhappiness and we are immediately asked to leave the premises. People are so so afraid of mistakes and errors these days that they can’t ever imagine facing a big failure. Our hearts are so set on having the perfect beautiful future – that does not exist in the first place.
I was feeling bad about the error, but not bad enough to cause self doubt about my sanity.
My body just shook with stress the whole night and I came up this blogpost the next morning. How is unhappiness related to minor errors? Are oversight not a part of human activity? Or is that only reserved for the privileged?
There was a time when Shahjahan cut the hands of those who built a Taj Mahal for doing a great job and his ego of having that form of architecture for himself. Today there is wreckage of your self esteem for making a mistake.
There won’t be ever “Okay it is fine there was no damage. Let’s move on.” There is only, “How damaged are you to make this mistake?”
Nevertheless I promise to survive in this system and make a life out of it. And to end this post I would just randomly like to quote Jim Carrey, because it consoles me.
“My soul is not contained within the limits of my body; my body is contained within the limitlessness of my soul.” – Jim Carrey