Passing thoughts – Certified


I come from a generation which started the birth certificate. A government appreciating our birth and wanting to keep it for our records. Before that it wasn’t a thing. When you were born, you were just born. You became an additional beneficiary (burden) on the ration card. That is all. But my generation was appreciated cause we came into existence.

My parents come from a generation that started with  the marriage certificate. Before that you just got married, dowry and done. You got appreciated for nothing. My grandparents never got a certificate for any life achievements. And my great grandparents were just lucky they were alive. They had to always walk miles for places. My great grandfather walked from Burma to West Bengal. Another one walked over 14kms to work as a priest in a temple. 
They never got appreciated and never even expected it. So their priorities was existence. My grandparents’ priority was food maybe cause ration card must have become a thing then. My parents’ priority was marriage, cause government gave you a certificate (which means appreciated) for marriage. 

And my generation demands appreciation for just existing because of our birth certificates. We ultimately think our existence itself is so wonderful that we ought to be more appreciated for it.

I cannot even imagine what my great grandparents must think about the complaints we make. “This train is killing me.” “I absolutely hate walking in these shoes.” “I detest the fact that nobody said a word about how I came and how I looked.” 

We use social media to get appreciation for our existence and therefore we become our own hindrance when it comes to achieving great things.

Maybe the government certificates do not intentionally have an impact on our attitude towards life, but they do somewhere play a role. 

Passing thoughts – metaphysical


I have put a part of me flying outside and beyond the Oort cloud (imaginatively or maybe really). So whenever I’m distressed or even physically sick I just imagine or remember the part of me floating outside the Oort cloud exploring and the part of me acknowledges me. It waves happily and excitedly from that part the universe, cause it is kinda done with all this crap and has flown awaaaaaaay.

🙂

Passing thoughts – Ultimate retirement plan


My life’s ultimate retirement plan would be where I finally get to living in a place on my own. I live a life of solitude where I recuperate from all the drama and other bs I’ve faced which were thrown by the human society collectively and unintentionally to me. 

I read books, live in a comfortable house and do my regular chores. I keep healthy and go out for long walks. Maybe there is a dog with me. I also travel once a year. Have human contact but not excessively. Cause that could be the time where I find the financial  independence to study sciences more deeply and understand more and more about this universe. Probably join a senior citizen science club (on start one) instead of some religious nonsense.

I’ll come back home after a long day lie down and prepare myself for the one thing that has been consistent in all our lives. Death. The ultimate peaceful restitution from life. 🙂

India’s Trump problem


A friend of mine wrote in an essay, ‘Indians don’t take responsibilty for *anything*’. Guess who else does not take responsibility? Trump. I’ll tell you the connection after explaining how I got to the conclusion. (A good way to get you to read? Or maybe you can just scroll down and get to the end?)

It was for the first time I noticed this annoying trait of ours. As I am going through the CBSE NET exam booklet it is funny how all of it is so true. The exam is supposed to be for those who wish to teach in Indian universities as Assistant professors and also for those who wish to apply for Junior Research Fellowships. This form has distanced itself so far away from responsibility of anything! This exam basically helps shape the education system of our country. And here we are wondering why it is the way it is.

I will show you some pointers from the form itself. I have spent good amount of my morning with this form’s booklet.

So the first three sections are important instructions, junior research fellowships and conditions of eligibility. That is alright — nothing to see there except for the fact that the categories of people appearing for the exam are — General, Other Backward Classes(OBC), and “non-creamy layer” Scheduled caste/scheduled tribes, persons with disability.

Non-creamy layer?! I mean what does that even mean?! Firstly it is an insult to those who are not General or OBC, the institution just blatantly described them as ‘non-creamy layer’ of our country. Secondly, you are not baking a cake. It is not to be sugar coated (no pun intended) so heavily. Call it like it is, “the people against whom we have discriminated so heavily for ages that they are now underprivileged because of those above who wish to classify themselves as ‘creamy layer’ of our country while basically they are all just completely unethical pricks living under the unethical-privileges gained by their ancestors!” I mean I am sure the ‘creamy category’ has some hardships, but an institution trying to recruit professors for our country is not doing justice when it comes to language.

sugar-coating is strong with this one

But the point is about responsibility and not language. I should not divert from there, so let’s move on.

Let’s go way below to section 12-General Instructions.

This really did tick me off because how can you just flip the city the exam will take place and not state any reason for it? And how must the applicants comply with such uncertainty?

Not all of those who are taking the exam are made of money-so people must be booking their tickets way before the exam. Also, they are probably employed elsewhere and must need to have applied for leave. There have been many many people who have complied with uncertain norms set by the institution. A classic ‘beggars can’t be choosers’ case. Many take pride in coming first in the exam and they sure as hell should. If you followed these rules and took the time and energy to invest in it anyway and came first then you deserve another award on side-highest tolerance award. This can be given to those people who followed our government’s procedures and came out of it meritoriously.

And this well, ‘our word is final’ and all you can do in order to get them to hear you is basically take them to court. And they do know nobody has the time/money for that. It is all fine though. As an Indian we have go through most of this in any government office. So we do have a tolerance for all of the above. Our rage will be subsided immediately because there is no other alternative. So as I finished reading the rules I was still accepting of all of them-after all what choice do I have? Like many of those complying with our government’s circulars I, too, will give in to all in order to gain very little (Yes, our university pays very little and sometimes not at all to the professors. Why do you think your prof went on strike so often?) But I decided to go ahead with it anyway and then I read this:

OF COURSE NOT. They sent out the notification but will not be credible even towards something they themselves wrote! You think Donald Trump is bad? Most of our institutions/organisations like above run on his ideals! They refuse to be accounted for when it comes to anything-even their own word. So don’t smirk at America when they have a Trump-problem in their election. In our country we have institutionalised this very problem so deeply that we have stopped noticing!

Indians need to step up and start taking responsibility for their word and actions. CBSE is just a tiny example of a bigger system that is so inherently reluctant to take any responsibility even when it comes to errors!

And Trump needs to step up and start writing such disclaimers, “It is a verbal error and I take no responsibility for it.” Learn from us, bro (sarcasm has made an appearance here please note).

P.S. The words — institution and responsibility is used too many times and I apologise if that hurt your eye.

Ideas approved


You cannot ever reject another person’s existence. We live in a world where (thanks to filter bubble and such things alike) we are heavily divided in opinion.

While rejecting someone’s thoughts we must realise that we cannot reject their existence. You can’t simply say person A is horrifying simply because of an idea or a belief they hold closely. A human being is a collection of ideas and thoughts and all of that is constantly evolving and developing. 

So the ideas sort of exist separately than his/her material being. They are although a product of it and vice versa. Hence, “I think therefore I am”. 

Also you can only ever disagree with someone’s ideas and thoughts but never ever dismiss it as untrue cause nothing is absolutely true.

It is said that you must not seek approval from others. But to make that work we must first approve the idea that we don’t need approval. Tough isn’t it? Something that claims we should not seek approval itself needs approval first.

But it is true. Humans don’t need your approval to exist. They exist because mainly that they possess a capacity to think. Their thinking does not require approval as well. Collective societal norms and rules require approval though and not personal thought. This is why Hillary Clinton is right a politician does hold two opinions public and private. One that does not seek approval and therefore is a personal journey and other that requires approval and hopefully is for the greater good.

Nevertheless personal thought/consciousness lives freely beyond the confinement of the material world and no matter what changes occur in it. 
P.S. The above is just me blogging nonsense at a time where I should be deeply asleep. My one eye has already shut close. Dont mind the nonsense typing. I just required to empty my mind and rid thoughts that keep encircling like hawks eating up my productivity. 

Liberating consciousness


The end of history will be a very sad time. The struggle for recognition, the willingness to risk one’s life for a purely abstract goal, the worldwide ideological struggle that called forth daring, courage, imagination, and idealism, will be replaced by economic calculation, the endless solving of technical problems, environmental concerns, and the satisfaction of sophisticated consumer demands. In the post historical period there will be neither art nor philosophy, just the perpetual care taking of he museum of human history. I can feel in myself, and see in others around me, a powerful nostalgia for the time when history existed.  – Francis Fukuyama

There are many ways to interpret Fukuyama’s concept of end of ideolgy/history. This work has inspired many to think of ideological values differently. One of the best things Fukuyama has done for me is break down Hegel’s philosophy on separation of consciousness and physical reality.

“Indeed, Hegel the professor was temporarily
thrown out of work as a result of a very material event, the Battle of Jena. But
while Hegel’s writing and thinking could be stopped by a bullet from the material
world, the hand on the trigger of the gun was motivated in turn by the ideas of
liberty and equality that had driven the French Revolution.”

That means inspite of being physically out of an institution that claimed to perpetuate philosophical thinking or academia, Hegel was still very much in thought present as a philosopher even though he physically was out of the institution.

Consciousness is causes and not effect, and can develop
autonomously from the material world, hence the real subtext underlying the
apparent jumble of current events is the history of ideology.

This whole piece made me dwell deeper into the difference of consciousness and material world. My consciousness has thoughts regarding such philosophical questions which the physical self does not allow to be vocalised publicly. Why? Because of the judgement thrown in on it by the physical world. The idea that philosophy has to be rendered as a pointless subject and we must all only focus upon economic gains has already progress in this period  called ‘end of history’ and Fukuyama is indeed right. Art, philosophy etc are all denigrated as a pointless endeavor. The human world therefore will not consider consciousness as something to be addressed but as the nagging speech that would not let us sleep at night. A condition that is not an extension of human life but an obstacle.

The voice you hear inside your head is the part of a consciousness that exist separate from the physical world. That is not to say they both cannot co-exist. They very well do.

For it, the law of universe does not necessarily apply. It is aware of the laws yes, but those laws are not applicable. The thoughts don’t weigh differently in space than on earth. They are different in the sense, “Wow so many stars!” and “Wow this CO2 level is choking my lungs out.”

You know which is where. First thought will occur at Hollywood and second one on a planet which has 96% CO2 in its atmosphere – Venus.

Thoughts may or may not die with you. They don’t have a voice unless you are physically present – so the consciousness need not necessarily be limitless. But it is limitless because we have found ways to record consciousness (which I plainly have interpreted as thoughts) in books, audios and mundane blogs such as this one. Not to forget ‘social media’.

But understanding that consciousness is limitless and not confined to physical structures. And yes, Hinduism has always spoken about the above but there is a flaw. It has attributed consciousness to specific gods such as Krishna, Vishnu etc. It has made the whole philosophical concept to perpetuate a divisive industry by which it can profit. It seeks donations – talks about a limitless consciousness then divides people immediately by speaking of eating habits, gender, caste and other such flaws.

Therefore, as a Hindu who cannot read Sanskrit in order to get the unadulterated idea of what the core philosophy is – I have understood the idea of limitless consciousness with the help of Fukuyama and Hegel. So religious people be careful before you start taking credit – knowledge is as limitless as consciousness is (although intellectual property rights exist in the material world of course and must be respected.)

My main takeaway from this idea is a very personal one. Even though there is a limit for me performing with regards to my thoughts in the real world. Performing as in publishing pieces, speaking at events or making videos – my thoughts or consciousness is not limited. I have no business pushing them down or repressing them simply because of the physical circumstances I am face. Also, to think the part of me (my mind) is limitless is so very liberating!

P.S. The above interpretation of Hegel, Fukuyama and Hinduism is very personal. If you were offended then I apologise.

Source for the quotes: https://ps321.community.uaf.edu/files/2012/10/Fukuyama-End-of-history-article.pdf

Silent resistance


​Recently I visited a hanuman mandir in Chennai with my grand aunt. Since I was exhausted post vacation and had been to three airports in two days I was in no mood to dress ‘traditionally’. So I wore my brick coloured pyjamas, black T-shirt and covered my ‘top’ with a colourful scarf so as to not invite any criticism.

We entered the temple and I enjoyed listening to the history of the place by my grand aunt. We finally find a priest who disapproves of my outfit, as predicted by my grand aunt before we left home. I still insisted on wearing the outfit cause it was comfortable. Turns out my comfort was ‘offensive’. The poor old priest started the sentence by saying, “I know it is personal but this is not an appropriate outfit for the temple.”
Little did he know I was hiding something even more ‘offensive’ inside me. Or rather it was flowing outside of me. Yes, I was on my period.
I have always somehow ended up visiting temples during my period. Initially it was a coincidence. The first one being on a summer camp I went to while I was in school. The campsite had a temple in it which was where the morning prayers were held. 

I would be so petrified entering the temple on my period and at the same time I would love breaking the one rule I always hated. Soon I found out there were many other teenage girls like me on their periods attending all the religious activities. Thanks to natural synchronization and the fact that nature does not give a damn about where you are. It does whatever and whenever it has to. 
And since then it hasn’t changed. I would have to lie to my grandmother and other family members on some occasions when a temple visit etc is unavoidable.
Maybe my granny is looking at me from up above and either frowning in anger or understanding the joy I have in doing this.
Sabarimalai, a temple run by heavily laden sexism, does not allow women during their adult age or ‘period age’ inside. The sanctum is solely reserved for ‘pure’ men. I have followed a silent resistance, by choice and at times by mere coincidence, since my summer camp incident and visited temples, attended religious ceremonies during my period.
Being an atheist the temple visit has no meaning for me. In fact the act standing in front of an idol and saying prayers seems useless. I’d rather learn sing those songs for the joy of singing and not because my plea will be heard by the God and somehow would magically grant me my wishes.
But the only time any religious event holds meaning for me is when I am on my period. As I bleed through I feel utmost happiness of breaking a small barrier silently. Creating a small shift in the system by telling my body that the flow has no negative connotation to it. Rather it is a very important characteristic provided to us as opposed to the characteristic of a priest chanting endless mantras and asking money at the end of it. So technically they should respect what we go through and not let the religious ones amongst us be shunned from religious spaces on “those days.”
I am confident that I am not the only woman who does this and there are many more like me who do the same.
So here’s to us ladies! Teaching sexism in traditions that no matter what nature will flow through us and some day you will have to respect it. But until then it will flow through me and several other women silently watching you trying to make it a taboo. 
*Draws a doodle of a calm uterus on period dancing in a temple and enjoying the silent resistance.* Silent because nobody knows that I have crossed the border and entered the space while I’m on my monthly no fly zone. #liberation #IWishICouldDoodle

Star stuff you and me


I can’t believe that all of me was just star stuff flying around the universe carefree. Laws of universe are within me still like they were back then for example gravity (the only one I know maybe). 

Now this carefree star stuff has become a person who has to care about jobs and responsibilities. And also care about other carefree star stuff beings (people). 

I wish to be relieved from this human duty and go back to just being. 

José Saramago – The Cave


I finished The Cave! It is a celebration because this book has been a task to finish cause of my schedule. Also because it made me cry in the end. Needless to say Saramago is one of the greatest authors ever! Not sure if it is because his belief systems aligns with my own. Or maybe cause his translated works pay no heed to grammar and only focus upon getting the message out. 

This piece of fiction which speaks darkly about capitalist system.

One of my favorite quote from the book is “…from one hour to the next, we’ve become like strangers in this world…”

This may be one of the few books that I’ll choose to re-read.

I am so happy to have come across José Saramago. I dont even remember what made me buy his books. 

Happy Friday!

Passing thoughts – perception song


Maybe we shouldn’t get angry over someone else’s view point.

Even if it is an opinion about you, something you love the most or about something you hate the most.

Even if whatever they say is blasphemous – just imagine them singing it instead of saying it.

Singing from the other side of a rock – the side which you either chose to or by circumstances don’t have a view of. Its a lot more beautiful to imagine someone sing nonsense melodiously. :P. You know like those catchy rap songs.

I swear I’m not high, just bored in a rickshaw ride home.